This week in D&D, ending 24 Oct 15

Trigger Warnings: Spoilers, Sudden yet Inevitable Betrayals, roboticization, the start of a third campaign, heroic sociopaths, three recaps in one post, and Wil Wheaton’s curse!

That’s right, this is going to be some wall of text. And you can thank someone dying for that.

Granted, it was a relative of one of my aunt’s, God rest his soul, and I didn’t attend the funeral and all, too far removed from the family tree, but he did leave behind a metric bleepton of computer and tablets. Much more than my aunt would ever deal with.

You can probably guess who gets all the spare electronic equipment dumped on in situations like this?

Needless to say that I’m now a proud owner of a second Lenovo tablet—will make an excellent alarm clock—an Amazon Kindle—I always wanted one of those—and a New-Used Asus K501 laptop that, although having seen better days with three keys missing, is still quite functional and, after taking most of the weekend to do the upgrade to Windows 10 (Protip: Let Windows 7-slash-8 finish their own updates before making the switch) I managed to have it set up to my likings. This laptop will make an excellent E-DM’s screen, which will really improve my Encounter’s game. It’ll be introduced in the Halloween One Shot.

More on the One Shot later on this week, but for now, let’s make the recaps:

Wednesday: Out of the Abyss

The party have finally made it to Blingdenstone, but not before having the drow pursuers from Velkynvelve catch up with them. How in the hell did they head the party off in the pass after a bona fide Arch Demon, the Black Lake, and a Mantol-Derith that’s foreshadowed with the madness of possibly another Arch Demon, I have no idea. They’re drow, they know the Underdark far better than I can possibly be.

What? You think I’m a micromanaging Dungeon Master? Gods Forbid! I’ll find my brain out of my skull by my nightstand next to my ‘new’ Lenovo Tablet Alarm Clock puffing on a vaper and calling me an asshole!

And I’m enough of an Asshole DM already.

I had Asha (the junior priestess) stab Ilvara (her superior) in the back with a dagger laced with a poison that not only killed her instantly, but formed spiders to come out of her mouth en masse a la Halloween III, or a much earlier scene when I was still a player in Encounters, during the Drow campaign, where one drow just froze in place and was choking on a thousand spiders. Seemed a fitting end of someone who fell out of Lolth’s favor.

One of the party members managed to take that dagger and, after I given him a description of the poison, proceeded to attack with it.

I didn’t tell him about the security system in it that gave him a bit of the poison as well, heh heh heh.

While the party was dealing with him rolling Death Saving Throws all of the sudden, and those tiny spiders swarming over the place and cocooning everything in sight, Asha escaped with Jorlan (the maimed and therefore ditched male drow) before the deep gnomes (I’ve yet to pronounce svirfneblin right) of Whiteshell Mine found the party. Having seen that the drow was fighting them, they let them into the city. However, they have so many problems in town that they bared the door. I have it that, if the party helps them with their problems, alleviating the stretched out gnomepower in town, they’ll open the gate and bring them to the surface, which will lead into a brand new village near Mithril Hall.

There’s just one problem, which I’m grateful for a week’s skip. The party decided to split up and form teams to deal with three problems at once:

  • Billy and Charley will try to work some deal with the local wererats that have made a burrow in town before the deep gnomes reclaim it.
  • John and Rich will deal with the ghosts in town.
  • Bill and Aidan will investigate a deep gnome who has gone insane by the northeast part of town.

…..I have my work cut out for me.

What a perfect time for both Sword Coast Legends and RPG Maker MV to be released in this very same week. Now you know what I was doing when I was getting my laptop up to speed.

When I wasn’t on Roll20, that is.

Thursday: Dreams of the Red Wizards

This week also marks my use of Teamspeak for the voice chat needs. I got me a very cheap and local TS3 server of 25 users for $2 a month. It’s money well spent, if I say so, and after a couple tweaks to the microphone (people said that I was kinda loud on the mike, although the mike I use is the one on the webcam. Maybe I’m just naturally loud so that I can hear my own voice; an autism thing, I guess. Let me know if other auties have this problem of needing to speak up so they’ll know what they’re saying) Teamspeak was ready for prime time.

Where the insanity on the table skipped several levels.

They are still in the Floshin Estate, and they found their way to the Great Stairwell (Area 15, for those following along in their scenario books, I know who you are, you naughty spawn; I can smell your stinking evil from my monitor) the party encountered two animated armor attacking them.

At that point, the Tiefling Warlock of Cthulhu said something that would even make the Great Old Once do a “What the Flying Fuck?”: He asked if he could get inside it.

Half of me was headdesking in abrupt laughter. But the other half, the insane half, heard great Cthulhu’s voice: “Punish that Fucker!”

Punish him I did. I merged that Tiefling into the armor, or rather, the armor did to him what the Borg Queen does to whatever SIMP she could get her hands on. (And then for an encore, she did Captain Picard, and oh did she do him.)

Now I have on my table a Warforged (although I would say Robotic) Tiefling Warlock of Cthulhu who’s arms can form whip-like tentacles, his horns channel the eldritch power, and an undeniable programming to bring Cthulhu into the Realms with little other room for individual thought. He’s basically playing a Robian.

And if he even mutters out “Hedgehog: Priority One” just once, I might have to kill him!

This, of course, is added to the search for Shalendra Floshin, who’d diary tells of her downfall in typical apocalyptic log fashion. It was something that, in afterthought, I would’ve delved into more if time allowed.

Friday: Princes of the Apocalypse: Second Strike

After some weeks of delay, I finally got Princes of the Apocalypse: Second Strike started. Of course, this session ended up as being session 0.5. The party needed to make their finishing touches to their characters, something I wanted to help them out at the start anyway, but I managed to get the campaign started by taking the party to a Red Larch now run by archmage Meriele Ambercrown, a Transmutation Wizard coming of her own with a very unique way of administering justice to those who very much deserve it (like the cultist who killed her mentor, and some choice members of the Believers from last time): Cast Hold Person on the convicted, dress or undress them into anything that comes to mind, pose them in public, and then cast Flesh to Stone so they become a marble statue. The priest Larrakh, who was the ousted cultist who killed Meriele’s mentor? He’s not a bird bath pissing out a fountain in perpetuity in the center of town. You don’t want to know what happened to the others.

This actually jells well with one of the party members, which I might be NPCing because of his player going into Boot Camp: An heroic Necromancer who turns the bad guys he finds who very much deserve it into his undead minions, and he’s in the service of an archangel who wishes to upsurp Nerull in the pantheon. (The Correct Deity is put in that message, thank you 🙂 )

But as the party heads off to their first encounter, which I wanted to finish the session on, I think I went and done something stupid. I said over the table that, if I ever played with Wil Wheaton, I’d find loaded dice to give to him, in an attempt to circumvent the curse he has when it comes to dice rolling. Well! Mr, Murphy was pretty much offended at what I said, because during that encounter, only about 3 of the dice rolls I made were over 12. And the Necromancer’s cantrip only did 1 point of damage to a victim. Twice. That’ll tell me to shut up.

Planning the Halloween Session

Sometime this week, I’ll be setting up the Halloween one shot that deals with a Lich and a Zombie Hoard. When I do, I’ll probably stream it so that you can see me plan. It’ll also be the session where I introduce the use of my new laptop as the DM’s screen. Stay Tuned.

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